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whateverafter
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You know that place between sleep and awake? The place where you can still remember dreaming? That's the place where I'll always love you. twitter
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Life's setbacks are good at when you sacrifice, you will receive something in return. While any sacrifices done that comes from your true heart are always worth it. :) Firstly, I'm sorry for locking this blog. Readers have been asking me about it and asking me to open it once again. My apologies because I was in the midst of my exams and finally it's all over! I can't wait to share to you all about my experience! -which wasn't as good as you think but oh wells, this is a blog- And I had a VERY INTERESTING BOOK TO SHARE IN THE NEXT POST!-groans- This is going to be another long post. You don't say *winks* So my schedule was so packed as PMR was just as far as my lips to my teeth -why such weird metaphor ; I don't know sorry- and all I did the past few days before PMR came was just fumbling over books over books, getting all carried away by my stress, sometimes I cried if I wouldn't able to make it. It was a tough challenge, but I wouldn't trade this experience with anything in this world. The amount of perspiration that stream down my face and the amount of tears I shed throughout such a minor and stupid useless exam makes me turn around and wonder why I take it such seriously when the previous exams like this that I'd took 3 years back -which was UPSR- during my primary school, I practically wasn't minding so much at all. I did cried once studying for UPSR and I faced difficulties in that topic and I started crying cause my dad was my tutor and I couldn't understand anything he said. So after I wiped away my tears he told me to not worry cause the whole paper won't be all about Time. And how funny is that. I sat for UPSR Maths Paper 1. And I remembered I panicked. And I even left out a few questions that I didn't have sufficient time to finish them. And I came back with an A. Miracles do happen. And I was studying for PMR just a few months back, like it was just yesterday. Flashbacks do haunt me how sometimes I was so stressed up and there were times where I just lied around and think why do I try so hard. My main weak subject wasn't maths -nah during UPSR maths wasn't my weakest subject either, it was BM- , it was the easiest subject most people consider to score, KHB. Well not everyone consider it easy to score neither. My friends where I claimed all top notches had the same problem with KHB too. Luckily, KHB paper in PMR was easy. -That's what I was thinking but sometimes the more easy you think it is, the more it is to the opposite- So, my PMR goes like this. I scratched my hair all the way throughout the journey. Hair fall, lol. And to the day before, my friends and I got blessings from a few teachers. The next day I was alone. Not exactly alone in physical but I feel empty in between. As if there's still one blessing that I needed but hadn't receive. Like a sick stocking hanging waiting for Santa Claus that's never coming. And that's exactly how I walked myself to my table, copying down my candidate number and started scribbling on papers. The paper I was sitting that moment was BM Paper 1. Which everyone, me included, claimed hard. BM Paper 2 was easier than Paper 1 alot, but it didn't work out as perfectly as I plan. Throw in everything I've learned throughout my F3 year was my greatest plan. But I panicked halfway and, well, disastrous. Nothing much happened the days after -I don't want to crap so much- and to the last day. Which probably most of the students had call it a off cause most of them are bananas that didn't take Chinese. But I'm still in that day. Call me a whatever but if you're a Chinese and once took Chinese in primary school but dropped it just because it pulls down your grade, I would think it's just a waste that you being a Chinese. The paper went out hard. My friends who did past year question papers for Chinese before claimed it was so different from the past and hardest among all. I feel the same and compared to BM, it is heaven and earth. Finally the clock struck 12:50 and we're off. The examiner looked at us and smile, she just knew how much we're going to enjoy once we're out of here. I came back from school and checked the papers once myself and another time with my dad, basically every question that I asked my dad was wrong. And I just sat there hugging my pillow so tight and telling myself I just need a B. Because Chinese Paper 2 got my hopes up for A so high and Paper 2 let me down. So PMR to the end. I aimed for 6A's and above. So this is my target. Chinese: B BM: B English: A Maths: A Science: A Geography: A History: A KHB: A
I hope this isn't so much to ask for, God.
I just hope to see how my hard work had bring me to.
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他曾是你的選擇,
光是這一點就很難得
;
就算再不捨,
至少你都盡力了
He was once your choice,
and this was really something precious
;
No matter though how much you missed him.
at least you tried your best.
dedicated to once was lost and now found. ;)
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